Penelope and footprints in the Sea

The 2006 movie Penelope came out when I was otherwise occupied with traversing the globe and falling in love, so, I missed it. I found it in 2009 when we had a free week trial at Netflix. And now in 2010 I revisited this modern day ugly duckling fairy tale. I immediately fell in love with the film's backdrop; exposed brick, colorful rooms, a modern romance with a vintage twist. Schuler Fisk's song 'Waking Life,' is what caught my attention today. She sings " cause I'm not lost, just looking for footprints..."

Anyone else out there in their 30's? Anyone out there feel lost? Anyone out there feel like they should be somewhere else doing something better or greater or bigger? Yeah, me neither....

But I do feel a bit like that song. Looking for footprints, feeling like there is somewhere else I should be but not seeing the way to get there. Asking, seeking, knocking.

Silence.

So, what to do in the meantime. Cry. Pray. Love. These seem like really great options, like the movie, but without all of the traveling. I don't actually feel lost. I feel like I am waiting for Christmas morning. Anticipating what might be, what could be. And for now, I will do the things I know to do and the things I have been given to do. I am a wife, a mother, a friend, a daughter. I will change diapers and color with my 2 year old, wash dishes, enjoy a good cup of coffee, listen to my heart and to God, pray, and wait (see note).

your way was in the sea,
And Your paths in the mighty waters,
And Your footprints may not be known.
you led Your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

~Psalm 77

note: Waiting, however, is an entirely different topic. Let's be honest, waiting sucks. Waiting is supposed to teach you all of these things that you didn't know you needed to learn. It's the worst. But, it's there and its part of it, so I will try my best to not have such a bad attitude about it. I find eating chocolate helps.